Kondo, a Japanese businesswoman who established herself as a tidying mogul with her books and Netflix series, is now a mother of three.
“I used to be a professional tidyer, so I did my best to keep my house tidy. Now I realize that spending time at home with my kids is important to me,” she said at a recent webinar and virtual tea party attended by The Washington Post.
Real happiness is all about balance, according to therapists, so it’s best to find what works for you rather than start a tidying up the frenzy.
“If Marie Kondo quits, I will too”
Naturally, the idea of not having to follow rigorous cleanliness guidelines caused a social media uproar. “If Marie Kondo gives up, then so do I,” one Twitter user commented.
Another person said: “The screenshot of that headline by Marie Kondo about “giving up” housekeeping after having three children has spread over the mom internet like nothing I’ve ever seen.”
According to clinical psychologist Regine Galanti, “a lot of the parents I follow on social media had a real schadenfreude reaction.”
It’s simply impossible to accomplish everything.
Feeling in control can be achieved via organising. That’s not always possible, though, what with kids running around or other comparable responsibilities. According to psychotherapist and personal development life coach Anna Marcolin, “It no longer works because you can’t spend the effort into taking care of your children, being present with them, giving to them and at the same time have a house that’s always neat.” It creates for us what feels like an unreal expectation.
And whether or not someone is a parent, life tends to get busier by the minute.
“Since it is simply impossible to accomplish everything, something must be sacrificed, says Galanti. And when they actually can’t achieve everything, I believe that people are very harsh on themselves. However, it doesn’t make sense that they should be able to perform all tasks.”
Achieving equilibrium with clutter
Put balance before perfection. For instance, a little mess above a neat home.
Nobody truly cares how your house looks when guests are over, Marcolin continues. However, if you discover that the chaos is making you crazy, pick one or two spaces in your home where the kids may be completely uninhibited and allowed to be creative and in the moment. This will allow you to spend time with them and then find time later in the day to tidy up a little.
Galanti recommends mapping out conflicting ideals. Tidiness might take a back seat to take care of children and a career. She asserts that cleanliness and organisation are values. Therefore, you can only concentrate on so many values at once.
Find what makes you happy
Admittedly, people probably took Kondo’s suggestions too far.
“Marie Kondo’s message was never ‘clean the house and throw it all away’, it was always ‘keep what you love and feel no guilt in letting go of what you don’t need’, so people So sad to see is digging up Marie Kondo, “don’t let go,” wrote one Twitter user. Another user added:
“(a) It’s Marie Kondo’s nature to focus on what brings joy into your life, and (b) I seriously suspect that Marie’s house is cluttered.”
Anyway, if anyone feels the bar has been set a little lower, Marcolin welcomes it. “It’s a high standard, and I think it’s just lowered the bar a little bit,” she adds. “It allows most of us to achieve that.”